Professional opinion The business of breaking up a partnership

Professional opinion The geschftsleben of breaking up a partnershipProfessional opinion The business of breaking up a partnership*Written anonymously to protect the NOT so innocent.I remember sitting there, just highlighting, highlighting and highlighting, so many numbers, so many charges, so much money- just gone. When we started the company together, it was thrilling. We were young, ambitious, hungry and starting something with a potential magnitude we didnt know or could even fathom. Thats how a lot of companies start, as an idea, a collaboration. Then all the sudden, youre in it.The co-founder,business-boss-gal-pals model is popular- see Gilt, Rent the Runway, Birchbox and Proactiv- and it makes sense why. Everyone loves a partner in crime, you can do double the work and have double the fun, and that feeling of leid being alone is, well, a good one. Partnering up with a friend can work out amazingly. Or it can notlage.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboa rd covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreCut to a few years into your business, employees, money and tensions run high, and while you may think your roles are clear as can be, your word means nothing unless its in writing.Breaking up with a business partner might just be the most painful breakup you can go through- because this one comes with a price tag.My story is not unique, but when it happened to me it felt like the world was crashing in. It was hard to breathe, difficult to believe that someone I trusted, and even cared about, could be taking money from a company that we had built together from the ground up. My gut had been telling me for months that something wasnt right, but I assumed it was more a personal issue and that no matter what was going on between us, we were both equally invested in the business.Wrong.It eventually came to light that not only was my partner not managing our finances, but actually manipulating them. This include d racking up unrelated business expenses, disregarding all things tax related, and straight up embezzling money.I was devastated, and what was worse, I had no idea what to do next. I felt ashamed and scared to talk about it- I thought it had to be a reflection on me and how I operated a business. It took me a few years and several conversations to get over it, and through it all, I realized that I wasnt alone. One business partner taking advantage of another happens, and it happens a lot. Partnerships split up and morph all the time and for all kinds of reasons. Being able to step back back and realize something isnt working is a part of being a mature business pro.The hardest- and yet ultimately most helpful- thing for me to accept was that it was NOT my fault. Trusting someone is not a flaw but a positive characteristic. It takes trust to build a business, and had I been skeptical and suspicious from day one, we would have never gotten off the ground.Moving on and away from a part ner does not have to mean the end of your business, and often, it will actually turn out to be the beginning of something great.I hope this never happens to you, but if it does, here are my tips for pulling through, and maybe even coming out on top.Dont overreact.When I found out, I wanted to freak out, confront and deal with it head on, but cooler heads prevailed. Take a deep breath, and assess all the details of the situation to 100% ensure you are in the right before initiating a confrontation.Get your team in place.I was lucky enough to have an incredible lawyer and forensic finance team that helped shape my case and bring to light things I would have overlooked. Beyond that, they were able to deal with the personal communication that I wasnt emotionally prepared to handle.Handle clients and employees with care.The business of breaking it to your employees and clients is extremely crucial. I personally called each client to explain that my partner and I were parting ways. I foll owed up with an email of how the transition would work and assured them we were ready to take on the challenge. When you do all of this, resist the urge to talk bad about your former partner and keep the details of why youre splitting to a minimum.Tune out the I told you soOne of the hardest things was hearing from many friends, family, business contacts and clients who swore that they saw this coming.I acknowledged that they meant well, but just tuned it out. Beating myself up wasnt going to help me move forward, and I had to focus on what was right in front of me.Revise and renewAs roles and responsibilities change in your partnership, update your operating agreement. Even when everything is smooth sailing, it is crucial to know who is in charge of what.Move on and UPI was nervous about keeping the same business name and dealing with the How is so and so? questions,but it gets easier and YOU get better. When someone asks a question about the past, politely change the subject to so mething in the future that youre really excited about.This article originally appeared on Create and Cultivate.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people